Limericks

A string of Limericks

In an extended orgasm,
It slipped into a chasm.
Which spilled out pink juice,
Echoed screams so profuse,
And caused a lower back spasm.

The wet spot was cold,
And my lover looked old,
So I asked her to leave,
Which she couldn’t believe,
Despite her clitoral mold.

She left in a huff,
With that old floppy muff,
And I smiled with glee,
Never feeling so free,
To finally dance in the buff.

“Illusive truth,
“You’re so uncouth,
“Your forecast is dismal;
“Your presence: abysmal!
“Wait, Give me DNA proof!”

That can’t be my child,
My sperm swims so mild.
“Father’s demanding a marriage,
“Either that or a fetal miscarriage."
“Kill it.” I said, and she smiled.

Abortions are cheap,
And the unborn don’t weep.
But what of the soul?
It too, we'll throw in a hole,
Besides, babies disturb my sleep.

Now don’t shed a tear,
See the doctor is near,
“Are those instruments cold?”
“Yes, but this will save gold.”
“Wait Doc, can a fetus feel fear?”

“Well, their blood does boil,
“And they sometimes recoil
“From probing scalpels,
“Or even bad smells.
“But the process they never will spoil.

"You’re thinking of going to mass?
"Look doc! She needs some more gas!"
“Hey Stop! It’s my womb!
"I’m not a living tomb!”
“Shush, there’s no need to be crass.”